Lost Laughter- Laughing Jack x Depressed Reader
by introspectiveSeeker
Summary: When I fell into an all consuming depression I felt there was no cure for it. But when a monochrome clown takes me to his strange world, I find happiness can come from unexpected places.


Notes:

[f/n]= first name

In this fic you are drinking alcohol due to depression. If you're not into alcohol just pretend~

And you like roller coasters and candy apples~

It all started with a hallucination.

Wait, no, that's not true. It actually all started with a dream. A dream I had when I was still happy.

Back then life was simple. I would snuggle in bed feeling like all was right in the world and I would wake up with an eagerness to begin the day. It was no different that fateful night, the night I dreamed of _him_. Laughing Jack.

*_Flashback_*

With a content sigh I cover myself with a soft blanket. I ended up spending the late hours of the night on the computer until the point of exhaustion. But I couldn't help it, I was having too much fun! Sleep is necessary, though, so here I am.

When I drift off to sleep I find myself in a strange amusement park. It kind of reminds me of the amusement park from that one Silent Hill movie, for they both carry a vibe of creepiness. Everything is monochrome and rundown. In the background the tune of Pop Goes the Weasel is playing. But rather than being scared, I'm intrigued. I have an odd interest in that which is morbid. Curiously, I walk around and let my eyes travel this odd figment of my imagination. For a dream it feels rather realistic.

When my eyes land on a white teddy bear hung by a noose a delighted smile lights up my face. I can't help it, I've always had odd interests. On closer inspection I find the bear to have an eerie smile stitched into its face, which only makes it more interesting. I wish I could have one like it in real life!

"Hello there, sweet!" a deep yet uplifted voice greets. Startled, I swirl around to find a man (if you could call him that) dressed up like a...clown? Like the amusement park he is only colored in white and black. Even his eyes are unnaturally white. His nose is a sharp point and dangling from his hands are long claws. A smile stretches his black lips revealing teeth similar to that of a shark.

In all honesty the sight of him scares me. His claws could easily rip me apart or he could tear away at my skin with his teeth. Hell, even his _nose _looks like it could kill me! _This is a dream_, I remind myself. He isn't real and he can't really hurt me. So I swallow down my fear and replace it with laughter. He is a fictional character, a very cool one at that. "Hello," I greet back. "You look really cool!"

In response to my statement he tilts his head curiously. "I haven't heard that one before," he murmurs to himself. His smile stretches even wider as he reaches his hand towards me holding a brightly colored lollipop. "Care for a lollipop?" In this black and white world the rainbow lollipops in his hand stand out like a sore thumb.

"Sure!" I reply happily. I take the lollipop from his hand while being careful to not touch his claws. "Thanks." I lick the lollipop as I watch the man. Wow, I can even taste the lollipop in this dream! "What's your name?"

"I am known as Laughing Jack!" he replies brightly.

"Laughing Jack?" I repeat with a small smirk. "What's so funny?"

In response Jack laughs loudly, a laugh that could be mistaken as insane. "You're a strange one," he says after the laughter subsides. "What is _your _name?"

"I'm [f/n]," I reply with a smile.

"[f/n]," he repeats as if tasting my name. "Well, [f/n], I like you! I think I'll keep an eye on you a little longer before I kill you."

"What?" I ask as dread spills over me.

"I love your smile," he says cheerfully, ignoring my question. His hand reaches out, claws extended. I feel myself flinch yet I'm unable to move. His claws trace my lips, alarmingly drawing a bit of blood in the process. "I wanna see it for a bit longer."

"Are you going to kill me?" I ask fearfully. This is just a dream, just a dream, just a _dream_!

"Not yet," he replies, his grin eerily wide. Suddenly, a bunch of kids appear out of nowhere. But not normal kids, no, these kids are horribly mutilated. They're zombies.

At that instant I awake from the dream. I stare for a long while at my darkened ceiling, willing my heartbeat to slow down. In the darkness I can almost see the children's eyes looking at me as Jack's laughter still rings in my ears. I was certain I was going to be ripped to shreds then and there. Even if it was only a dream, it was still scary.

When I eventually calm down, I drift back into dreamless sleep.

*_Flashback Ends_*

After that night I never really thought about the dream. For a while the image of him was burned into my mind, but as time passed, he was forgotten as all dreams eventually are.

But I remember him now.

I had fallen into depression. I feel utterly lonely all the time. Worthless, even. No matter what I do I can't make myself feel happy again, or even feel motivated to do the simplest of tasks. I can hardly sleep anymore and I can't stop thinking. God, I wish I could stop thinking! My thoughts drag me down heavier than anything.

I wanted something, anything, that could make me stop thinking, to stop feeling. So I turned to alcohol. For a awhile it worked. But the more and more I drank, the less and less the alcohol worked. Still, I couldn't bring myself to stop drinking.

So here I am now, on the floor a drunken mess. I cling uselessly to a empty bottle of whiskey, still wanting more. The world seems to be blurry and spinning around me. Everything just looks grey to me.

Amidst all the grey, blurred spots of color come to my attention. I crawl closer and pick up the colorful object, finding it to be a piece of candy. In fact, here are several pieces of candy lined up like a trail. Mindlessly I follow the candied trail. It leads to my front door, forcing me to stand up on my wobbly legs and open the door. I stumble outside and continue to follow the trail.

When the trail reaches its end I find myself staring at black shoes. Looking up I meet the mirthful eyes of Laughing Jack. All the memories come crashing in. "LJ," I slur, the nickname formed from my drunken mind.

"We meet again, sweet!" he says happily. "Here's your prize." He tosses another piece of candy at me which I somehow manage to catch.

Until that point I had assumed Jack was just a drunken hallucination. But as I feel the hard candy in my hands I'm starting to doubt that. I swiftly unwrap the candy and pop it in my mouth. Fruity flavor bursts against my tongue, destroying any doubt that the man before me is real. With my legs trembling both due to alcohol and fear, I collapse to the ground. "So that's it, then," I say numbly. "You're here to kill me."

"Rejoice!" he cheers. "For I'm not here to kill you." He leans down so he's eye level with me. "Look around."

Obeying his command, I try to force the blurry world into focus. What had just been grey turns into black and white. I'm in the amusement park again. "Why did you bother bringing me here?" I ask in an emotionless tone. "Why not just kill me and get it over with?" It's sad, but the prospect of dying doesn't bother me like it used to do.

"I don't want to kill you, my dear [f/n]!" he replies. "I've been watching you, and I think you're worth keeping alive."

Bitter laughter spews from my mouth. "Yeah, right," I spit sarcastically. "I'm pathetic! It takes so much energy just for me to get out of bed. Look, quit playing games and just do all of us a favor and kill me."

"Now now now," he chides. "You don't see what I see, sweet. That's why I'm here to cheer you up!"

"You?" I ask unbelievingly. "A sociopathic clown wants to cheer me up? Great, just great." I just really feel like crying. I'm tired, I'm always so damn tired.

"You'll see, I'll return your lost laughter," he says with a confidence I doubt greatly. He extends his clawed hand to me which I grab without hesitation. I've struggled enough so I'm done struggling. With no effort he lifts me off the ground. "Follow me!" He leads me to a broken down and rusty roller coaster. I stare at him questioningly as he giggles at my gaze. "Watch this!" With a wave of his hand the roller coaster transforms right before my eyes. The rust melts away as the roller coaster becomes fully functional. "I know how you love roller coasters."

He's right, I do love roller coasters. But when was the last time I was on one? I can't even remember. It was before this depression hit me and took over. I say nothing as he guides me to a seat and straps the both of us in. Is this a death trap? I doubt it, not with Jack right beside me. "Ready?" Jack asks me. I nod silently. The coaster kicks off, gradually gaining speed the longer we move. I'm unable to help it as my heart starts to beat faster. Maybe I'm scared of death after all. But as the wind starts rushing past my ears I start to feel a thrill. A thrill like a breath of fresh air. We start looping and turning in such a fast speed it feels like we're flying. You'd think I would feel sick with all this alcohol churning in my stomach, but I don't feel sick at all. Quite the opposite. I hadn't realized I had a small smile on my face until the ride ended.

"That was fun," I find myself saying as excitement still buzzes through me.

"I know it was," Jack says smugly. "Care for something to eat?"

As if on cue my stomach grumbles viciously. Considering I'm filled up with nothing but booze, that would make sense. "Yeah," I mumble, cautiousness eating away at my buzz. What game is this clown playing? I know I can't trust him.

Jack leads us to a black and white striped booth. "Two candy apples," he commands to thin air. Or what I thought was thin air, for soon after a ghastly white hand appears from the darkness with two bright red candy apples. When Jack holds out one for me to take I eye it suspiciously. "It's not poisonous!"

"If you say so," I say doubtfully as I take the apple. My stomach grumbles again in a demand for food. Well, with Jack watching me so intently, I have no choice but to eat it anyways. I cautiously lick the apple and find it to be sickeningly sweet. To my amazement, I think it is the tastiest thing I have had in ages. I hungrily bite into the apple, savoring each bite.

"How is it?" Jack asks with a wide knowing smile.

"It's good," I mumble out, a faint smile dusting my lips.

"I agree, I adore candy apples," he says as he tears into his own. I can't help but notice how his sharpened teeth rips at the apple so easily.

When we both finish our apples he leads me to many more rides. Other roller coasters, spinning teacups, the carousel, the swings, the haunted house, and many more. Through it all my smile inches wider as I progressively start having more fun. It's almost like Jack isn't a psychopath but rather an old friend. "Final stop," he declares as he leads me to the ferris wheel. After I climb in Jack sits in front of me.

We sit in silence until we reach the top. As I gaze at the monochrome world below us, I ask him quietly, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I like you!" he replies with a grin. I used to find his smiles horrifying, but this one smile actually seems, I don't know, bright.

"But you plan on killing me," I point out. "You said you liked me and planned on killing me."

"No, I think you'll be the one human I keep around," he says with a chuckle.

"But _why_?" I ask as I clench my fists. "There's nothing special about me!"

"Quite the contrary, I find you much more intriguing than anyone I've met before. You don't shy away from what others would cast away with hate and disgust. Your laughter is like music to my ears and your smile is beautiful. And," he says as he leans forward, "I'd rather do this to you."

Too surprised to move, I'm unable to stop him as Jack presses his lips against mine. His lips are soft, much more softer than I would've imagined. Instead of being repulsed by his kiss, I find my heart beating faster and my face flushing. The kiss actually feels so _right_.

When he pulls away I can only manage a very confused, "Huh?"

He only smiles as he tells me, "Look outside."

When I look out the glass window rainbow balloons fill the air. "Wow," I breath out. I'm much too embarrassed to look at Jack so I spend the rest of the ride watching the colorful balloons. But the ride doesn't last forever and soon he is offering his hand to help me off of the ride. "Thanks," I say shyly as I take it.

"Here is your gift for spending the day with me," Jack says, and in his hands the same white bear with its stitched smile appears.

I gasp as he holds the bear out for me. Taking it from his hands, I murmur, "Jack...thank you, thank you so, so-," tears spill from my eyes and I'm no longer able to finish the sentence. For once in a long time I didn't feel depressed. I had_fun_. All thanks to this clown standing before me.

He delicately swipes at my tears. "Smile, dear, you look better that way," he tells me. I give him a watery grin in response, my heart swelling. "Thank you. Our time is over, but we shall meet again."

"Jack-," I cry, feeling as if there's so much I want to say. But my eyes fly open and I find myself tucked in bed.

Was, was it a dream? No! If it was only a dream then reality truly is screwed for me. But my hand brushes against something soft, and when I grab it and bring it in front of me, it's the white bear. It wasn't a dream!

With a warm smile I bring the bear close to my heart. My eyes droop into well needed peaceful sleep.

Maybe I'm not so worthless after all.

**The End**


End file.
